Super Bowl Memories Bitter Sweet

I heard about a ticket company offering free tickets to the Super Bowl. www.ticketsofamerica.com/super-bowl-tickets This got me thinking of how wonderful it would be to go and reminded me how special but bitter sweet this time of year and specifically the Super Bowl is to me. You see I am a long time Boston sports fan who has suffered for years as a fan of the hometown teams. People forget that for decades heartbreak, disappointment and "wait until next year" was the norm. Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins and Celtics have given us many great memories but none had won the "big one" since the Celtics in 1986. And the Pats had never won. Of course all that has changed since the Red Sox have broken the curse and my beloved Patriots have become the team of the decade with three Championships and a fourth on the horizon. One would ask “well then, how can this be bitter sweet or sad in anyway?” Any football fan would give anything to be part of this ride the Patriots are on. Well let me tell you my story and you may understand why with every championship comes a mixture of happiness and some sadness. The year was 1996 Super Bowl Sunday. This was Super Bowl XXX Dallas against Pittsburg. I spent it as I had many Super Bowls with my only brother (my identical Twin brother) at our local sports bar. Super Bowl Sunday a day for enjoying great football good food, good drink and good friends. The Patriots were 6 and 10 that year and had finished 4th not making the playoffs. We rooted for the Steelers as the AFC representative although it was pretty much a forgone conclusion that Dallas would win which they did. We talked about the day we would see the Patriots finally win it all and dreamt that perhaps by the time they did we would be able to afford it and actually get to go to the big game. "Someday" we said, someday the Patriots would be champions. The game that year was a really enjoyable game and closer than we expected. The Super Bowl party was great we had a wonderful time. After the game ended we said our goodbyes and we went back to our normal routine the following day. I didn't know that day Super Bowl XXX would be the last day I would ever speak to my brother. He suffered a stroke 5 days later and died 4 days after that at the age of 36. Paul was my best friend I will never forget him and I miss him terribly even 13 years later. I think about him a lot especially this time of year. Especially every time we win a championship. How much he would have loved seeing what I have seen since his death. The Red Sox did it, did it twice. And the Patriots, who would have ever thought they would be the team they are today? I’d give anything to have him back so he could experience what I have the last few years, to He’s missed so much. I sometimes wonder why him and not me. And wonder what God was thinking to take him so young. These are questions with no answers, questions I try not to dwell on. All I know is I hope as my friends tell me he, knows they’ve won that he is looking down and smiling with every victory and that he lives on in some small way through me. We are very much alike after all. Its been 13 years and friends still sometime slip and call me Paul. They then feel bad and say “oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to call you your brother’s name.” I say “please don’t worry about it. To me it’s a compliment, It tells me you still see alot of him in me and that he’s still alive in your memory. I think about Paul often, especially around Super Bowl time, how much he’d love it. If I get to go this year I’ll be taking Paul with me in my heart